Eat, Work, Exercise

2:20 pm

85/59 82 bpm (standing)

The kids on the Jersey Shore have Gym, Tanning, Laundry; Elizabeth Gilbert had Eat, Pray, Love; I have Eat, Work, Exercise.

Last year, after reading Eat, Pray, Love, I was inspired to go to Italy. And I did eat my way through Rome and Florence. I also walked everywhere, climbed a lot of stairs and waited on a lot of lines. That was before dsysauto. Now, I get exhausted just thinking about that trip and wonder if I could do it today. I don't know. I do know I'm not planning on traveling this year because the thought of even the airport experience - waiting on lines, drinking a lot of water and not being able to use the airplane bathroom until after takeoff, having to sit for 5-9 hours on the plane, etc. - just seems like too much hardship.

I'll travel next year probably. The irony is, I barely leave my bed and apartment on weekends because I'm recovering from the workweek, but I'll gladly traipse all over Europe for a 8 days! I'm thinking of going to Spain. I'd like to go to a soccer match in Barcelona to see Barcelona FC play at the Nou, and I especially want to see Real Madrid play in Madrid. My favorite soccer player, Cristiano Ronaldo (that's his picture on my blog) plays for them now so a trip to the Bernabeu stadium is in order.

A couple of years ago I flew to Manchester England for an overnight stay just to see my team Manchester United play (Ronaldo used to play for them). Obviously I love soccer and since I now spend a lot of time laying in bed watching tv, I'm always happy when Man United and Real Madrid games are televised. Like today, Madrid's set to play Villarreal in about 5 minutes on ESPN. But there's nothing like going to the home country to see a team play live and I'm not going to let a few dysoauto monkeys stop me!

So back to eating. I eat really well. No processed food-if it's in a package, I don't buy it. I love vegetables and fruits. I don't eat red meat, just because I don't like it (although I have a good hamburger once in a blue moon), and mostly eat fish and chicken. I love carbohydrates but stick to fresh, non-fried ones like good bran muffins, fresh bakery bread, etc. I drink water (tons, obviously) and have one diet Pepsi or Coke a day with lunch. I drink hot tea and herbal teas.

However...I LOVE cake, and the more frosting the better. And I love Harvest Cheese Sun Chips (once in a while). The problem this dysauto is causing with my eating is with the exhaustion and fatigue. The last 3 weeks or so, the fatigue has been overwhelming. It's so bad that at any moment, I could close my eyes, no matter where I am, and fall asleep. And no amount of salt and water is helping.

And, unfortunately, when I'm tired, I crave carbohydrates. Bad ones. And this past week, I was really bad. It was like the perfect storm: fatigue, having my period (sweets temporarily alleviate the migraine pain), and the first year anniversary of my dad's death (emotional eating anyone?).

UGH.

So I put last week behind me and realized I needed to get a grip. I thought this fatigue stuff was going to be a temporary setback, but apparently it's going to roost for a while. So I have to stop fighting it with butter cream frosting. It doesn't work anyway, and if anything it just creates ups and downs in my blood sugar levels which makes the situation worse. So, enough! No more treating my body like a garbage pit, it's going through enough.

Work. My plan to minimize the Crazy Train co-worker at work is well, working! She no longer occupies a large chunk of my brain and I no longer care about her. The first few times that
I had to deal with her without engaging her weren't easy, but now it's coming naturally. Again, the less stress I encounter at work, the better. I find that if I take work a day at a time, I can deal with it. The thought of a 5 day week of schlepping to NJ and home, and all the up and down movement from my desk is too overwhelming to think about at once.

Exercise. I wanted to add weights back into my workout but haven't had the heart to yet. I'm still amazed that after a day of work I'm able to do an hour to an hour and a half on the Precor. I am very lucky that my gym is on the block that I live on. If it weren't then I don't know that I'd make it. I have to play such mind games to get motivated: your jeans will be looser!, hey, you can read that book uninterrupted!, you'll sleep better, your headache will go away for a couple of hours, this is good for your dysautonomia!

And it's all true. Because it's when I don't work out that I feel like crap. Yes, my legs will feel like lead tree trunks the next day when I'm walking up the stairs from the train tracks. But so what? They're gonna feel like that anyway, and it's not going to kill me. Now more than ever, I need to keep going to the gym. Even though I hate every. last. second. of. it.

P.S. While I was writing this, Ronaldo scored! Ole!